Friday, July 30, 2010

What a crappy way to start a day

The last two mornings I have woke up dealing with crap. Literally. And yes it warrants a blog post. So yesterday morning Fisher wakes up and I go get him from his room and bring him downstairs. I usually lay him between Shawn and myself for a few minutes and cuddle him and talk to him as we both wake up. Yesterday after I put him between us he unsnapped his diaper and I checked it real quick to make sure there was no poop in there and then decided to let him play for a few minutes commando while we were waking up. I am not sure if the nugget of goodness was already in the diaper and I didn't notice it or if he produced it at will after the diaper was off. But regardless - a minute or two later I noticed a brown spot on my sheets. My lovely Egyptian Cotton sheets. And then I noticed it was more than just a spot. There was a good 3 foot swath of crap on my sheets...and my handmade quilt.....and my own pajamas. So I informed Shawn that we had a 5 Alarm situation (our term for when the poop requires a double parenting team for clean up and disposal) and he took Fisher and cleaned him up and I took over the laundry cleaning detail. Crisis solved.
Now this morning I get Fisher bring him downstairs again. I put him on the floor as I make up my bed (with my fresh poop free sheets). Fisher is playing happily in the floor. He comes over to the bed and pulls up and holds out a treasure for me to see very proudly (kind of like when a cat brings a mouse to your doorstep). I realize this brown treasure is truly a treasure because he had to dig for is a cat turd!!! Fisher has never shown any interest in the cat's litter boxes until this morning. I freaked out and grabbed the cat turd with my bare hands to get it away from him and then inspected his mouth to make sure there was no evidence of coprophagy (which is a scientific term for crap eating). Luckily, Fisher didn't appear to eat a poop breakfast.
I wonder what will happen tomorrow morning?

Monday, July 26, 2010

I have been diagnosed....

I went to a counselor today for the first time. I have had a hard time dealing with all the things surrounding Fisher's birth from his injuries to mine. I wanted to be able to talk it out with someone and hopefully they will be able to help me deal with things and move on. I think that is my goal. Right now it is hard to move on because I see Fisher's scars every day and I know that he will have more surgeries in the future and I pay his medical bills and I go to physical therapy for my back. So I met with a counselor and most of the hour was spent just telling the story. She said she understood why I would be so upset because I had lost all control (which if you know me, you know how hard this is for me lol) and I had a lot of things happen to my body that were never explained and weren't documented correctly in my medical records. She said she that it was my body and I deserved to understand what happened and why. I of course agree.
And I got an official diagnoses of adjustment disorder with anxiety. From my little research I have done it appears that adjustment disorder is a pretty common diagnosis, it seems like a catch all to me. I don't particularly care what is "wrong" with me. I just want to know how to deal with everything in a healthy way.

Sunday, July 25, 2010


My Nana is dieing. It is hard for me to believe, even though she has been in and out of the hospital since April. I just can not wrap my head around a world without Nana in it. I have only good memories of my Nana and it is really impossible for me to come to terms that there will be no new good memories, though I know I will always cherish the thousands I have.
However, she is dieing. The doctors and her daughters think it is time to "make her comfortable" and leave the rest to God.
It is impossible to try to explain how important Nana is to me and my family. There really are no words but know that if you ever met Nana, she would be your Nana too.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Vacation recap - Money well wasted and things I learned

We just got back from our first family vacation. One thing that Shawn and I decided before we had Fisher is that we will make it a priority every year to take a family vacation. Even if we are short on money we decided that we will go camping or something to mark each summer with an official "Family Vacation." My family didn't go on a vacation every year while we were growing up - but those times that we did pile into the Family Truckster and hit the road were so much fun and memorable. I look forward to the memories we will make over the years with our children.

Our first vacation as a family of three was to Myrtle Beach, SC. I had to give a presentation at a conference for work so we decided to turn it into a work/fun trip. It was great to see the beach through Fisher's eyes. He loved playing in the sand. He would dig holes in the sand and then be amazed when a wave would wash up and the water would linger in his hole like a little pond. He tasted the sand, and the shells, and the salt water. I took him out in the deeper water and we would jump the waves. He loved that and laughed every time I jumped. Fisher really enjoyed the huge beach and the freedom to crawl anywhere he wanted. He also loved catching the eye of the beach walkers and giving them a coy smile. We spent some time in the pool at our resort (which was awesome!). There were lots of kids swimming in the pool and Fisher kept trying to get away from me and swim with the kids. The only problem is - Fisher can't exactly swim just yet.

As any good family vacation - we got caught in a tourist trap. Shawn and I were really excited to eat at a seafood buffet for the first time. However, we ended up paying $60 for the two of us to eat at the Giant Crab which ended up being sub par, fried seafood. I have had better seafood at Shoneys and would have paid a lot less. To add to the tourist trappiness - they took a "souvenir photo" at the Giant Crab, which they would of course sell you for $10. This was our first souvenir picture taken at a family vacation and we just blew $60 on crappy food, so we decided to buy the photo. We have already gotten $10 worth of laughing from it. Oh - and of course, after leaving the Giant Crab - Shawn threw up his $30 worth of crap food and then we ended up getting him something at Hardees later that night.

That souvenir photo to remind us of the gross overpriced food at the Giant Crab might have sparked a family tradition....we bought every souvenir picture we had taken after that, because they really are just funny. We bought the picture at the Aquarium and then at Medieval Nights. So we ended up spending about $40 on souvenir pics. Which is quite ridiculous....but at the same time it is HARD to get a picture of the three of us together, so it is worth it. Plus, again the laugh factor has been worth the money.

Our first cheasy souvenir picture - At the Giant Crab.

The Second Souvenir Picture - at the Aquarium.

What I learned from our first family vacation
1) A large bathroom can double as a bedroom if the pack-n-play will fit in it.
2) Valet parking is amazing with a baby. I always thought valet was for lazy people.
3) The perks of a resort are worth the money. (valet, private beach, beach cabana, towels, chairs, umbrellas set up for you, etc)
4)It isn't a vacation unless you hit up at least one tourist trap
5)Take advantage of all the things that are free for kids under 2, while your kids are under 2.
6) If you wear out the kids under 2, they will sleep late!!
7) When you have a kid - you come back from vacation as tired as you left...but it is worth it.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Ready to run!!

Before I got pregnant with Fisher I ran. OK, more like jogged, and pretty slowly. But whatever. I started from not being able to run at all and got to where I could run for an hour straight. HOLY CRAP. An hour?? It still amazes me. I used to think that people who could run were crazy freaks of nature and that my being a "big girl" was destined to always walk. However, I joined a Women Can Run group in Arkansas and we slowly worked up to running a 5K together. It was one of the best experiences of my life. It took a lot of hard work and determination to stick with it and get to where I could run 5K, but I did it and I am still proud! Since I have ran several 5Ks and even a Biatholon - where I ran and swam.
Since having Fisher I have never got back into running. There are the myriad of reasons that come with having a child that is completely and totally dependent on you. And oh yeah - the fact that I work full time. Couple all of that with the back problems and I was wondering if I was ever going to run again. My back has been slowly getting better with three trips to the Physical Therapist each week (dreading those bills BTW). So today I decided to start the Couch to 5K program and work again towards running a 5K. I went very gently and even more slowly than usual - I just kind of wanted to test my back out. Well, I found that I am much much closer to the couch than the 5K....but I did it. I got out there and pushed my super sweet jogging stroller that my sister is letting me borrow and Fisher and I did the first couch to 5K training session. In the heat. So yes, I am proud of myself. Though quite dissapointed with how out of shape I am. But you have to start somewhere. I am really hoping I can stay motivated and make the time to do this.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Happy Independence Day!

We are spending the weekend home, just the three of us. It is so nice to have a nice relaxing three day weekend at home!
Tomorrow we are going to cook out and let Fisher play in his baby pool.
I have a diaper for the occasion - it is a FuzziBunz diap that is personalized with "God bless the USA" on the back. I bought a huge lot of diapers from a friend when Fisher was first born and this was in the lot. I never really imagined planning what DIAPER Fisher would be wearing! But I do just that. And when I am shopping I will notice a t-shirt and think "that would match so-and-so diaper perfectly." I think it kind of makes up for the fact that there is so much less boy clothes and gear than girls - I might not match hairbows, but I make sure his diapers look good!
Anyway - hope everyone has a happy 4th of July weekend!

Thursday, July 1, 2010

The End of an Era?

It is apparently time. Time to wean Fisher. I am so happy that I have been able to breastfeed for so many reasons- the usual ones like it is good for both of us, saves money,etc. But more so because it was a great way for the two of us to learn about each other in bond when Fisher was in the NICU. And when he had nasal stents in his nose bottles would hit the stents, so they didn't work. Anyway - I have been very lucky to be able to nurse Fisher and work full time. I work from a home office so I didn't even have to pump that often (which I hate!).
I was planning on nursing him until he was a year and then slowly weaning him over a month or so because I have a lot of work travel scheduled for the fall. However, it looks like it is going to happen a few months earlier than I planned. I need to be on some medications for my back that are not breastfeeding friendly (muscle relaxers and my doc also doesn't recommend taking ibuprofen while nursing). I have tried to get around taking it, but my back is seriously bothering me and it is keeping me from being as active with Fisher, working out, and doing a lot of my job duties. I have to get my back better because it is really affecting my daily life. So, over the last week I have been offering Fisher a straw/sippie cup with formula or pumped milk. At first he refused to take it, but he has been warming up to it and now will drink it. The last few days he has only nursed once or twice, and not for long. So I think we are about finished and I was worried that I might be upset, sad, nostalgic, or feel like I am missing out on those last few months. But I am not, I am actually relieved - relieved that he is adapting so smooth (but I don't know why I would expect him to do anything else - he rolls with the punches on everything else), relieved that I can start taking medicines that will hopefully make me feel better, relieved that I can travel for work and not have to pump anymore, and relieved that I can be away from Fisher and not feel like he is missing out on nursing. I am also relieved that I am not sad or bummed about it! I am really proud of the fact that I breastfed Fisher for almost 10 months - after a traumatic labor and delivery, a c-section, the NICU, his four surgeries, and several trips away from him for work. He is a healthy, happy, growing boy and I feel like I have done my part and now it is time to end this era and take care of me.