Sunday, August 29, 2010
I still in my head like the idea of a laundry day...but now I have a laundry life. I do laundry all day every day (or so it seems). I am continually throwing clothes into the wash, towels into the dryer, and then....piling them in my bed room. I don't mind the actual washing that much, but I never, ever seem to get a grip on putting them away. And.it.drives.me.crazy. Adding to the problem is that we bought an adorable cottage-style house that was built in 1941. Everyone that knows anything about building remarks on how great the house was built and that "they don't build them like that anymore." However, among the great structure, the plaster sound proof walls (that really rock now that we have a baby because we don't even have to try to be quiet while Fisher is sleeping), the arch doorways that give the house so much character there is something missing.....closets. Our house is a testimony to how much more CRAP we have than families had 70 years ago. Of course when we bought this house it didn't seem like that big of a deal - I mean, come on it has arch doorways! But now, well now, it is annoying and adds to the laundry life. There just isn't enough space for all the clothes, the towels, the sheets, the wash clothes, the unpaper towels (aka old rags),etc. And it is frustrating!! Next time we buy a house I am going to make sure there is a ton of storage and closets.
Monday, August 23, 2010
My Nana passed away today. Nana was a one of a kind person. She melded a sweet,loving personality with just enough spunk to make her a riot. Nana has been sick for a few months and I have spent a lot of time reflecting on her and the impact she has had on my life. And it all comes back to love.
Nana and Granddaddy were high school sweethearts, married, and had three daughters. They moved frequently because Granddaddy was a Methodist minister and his church assignments changed every few years. Through the years, moves, children, grandchildren, and all the things life throws at you they stayed in love. Granddaddy died 20 years ago (I can't believe it has been that long!) but even his death did not change her love for him. When Nana spoke of granddaddy I swear you could see that 14 year old high school freshmen with a gleam in her eye talking about her first love. I used to love to ask her stories about Granddaddy just to see her glow. She always wore her wedding ring and every year in our yearly family picture she made sure that our whole family was situated in a way where Granddaddy's picture was in the shot as well.
Even as a young girl I saw something in their relationship that I knew I wanted in my own one day. They had so much fun together and their love and respect for each other showed in ways that you can't fake.
Nana was everyone's Nana. If you met her, you called her Nana. And she was a hugger. That is just how she was. Because I went to college close to where Nana lived I had the opportunity to take many friends over to Nana's house. I so enjoyed introducing my friends to Nana because many of them had grandmothers they did not get to see often or that had passed away and Nana would be more than happy to share the Nana love. She never forgot ANY of my friends and asks for updates on every single one of them.
She also welcomed her grandson-in-laws into the family with the widest open arms you can imagine. Except she would never refer to them as in-laws - Shawn, Kelly, and James are her grandsons and that is the only way I ever heard her refer to them. This was especially meaningful to Shawn and myself as his own parents and grandparents are deceased. I loved that there were no "in-laws" and we were all just her grandchildren.
And I will never forget the way she welcomed her only great grandson into this world. When I went into labor early in the morning on Sunday, Sept 13th last year her and my aunt Teresa got in their car and drove six hours to where I lived to be there when Fisher was born. Of course, things didn't exactly go as planned and they had to leave without even seeing Fisher or holding him. But Nana and my two aunts Teresa and Jonna turned around and drove BACK the day after Fisher got out of the NICU just to meet him. And that has always meant so much to me. So even though Fisher will not remember the times he spent with Nana, we have pictures and most importantly I will never forget the truly unconditional love she showed to me, my family, and my friends. I am sad that Fisher will not grow up getting Nana hugs but he will benefit from the love that Nana taught me and he will benefit from that his whole life.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
For about two weeks I noticed an ammonia smell when I changed Fisher's diapers. Because I have never had any build up or stink problems I didn't think too much about it. I even looked up why a baby would suddenly have an ammonia smell to their pee and found some sites saying that he might need to drink more fluids and that this can just happen sometimes. Then we had two different nights where I put Fisher to bed at his normal time and he was up within an hour screaming. He never wakes up crying so we knew something was wrong. Both times when we checked on him, he had peed and his booty was red and there was an ammonia smell :( Both times I put him in a disposable and then put him back to bed and he went right back to sleep. So I finally (yes I am slow!) realized that I was having some ammonia build up problems with my diapers. I use Rockin Green Classic Rock to wash Fisher's diaps so I rocked two overnight soaks. Still had ammonia smell after Fisher peed. I have since soaked his diapers in blue dawn twice overnight, soaked them in vinegar, and sunned them and I think we are back in business! What a pain! But I guess on a positive note, I have been using cloth diapers on Fisher since he was born (11 months ago) and never had to strip them or had problems until now.
We had Fisher in disposables for about a week while I was soaking, rinsing, and trying to figure out what in the world was going on with his diapers. And now he has a rash from the disposables. Boooo! Fisher has really sensitive skin and whenever we have had him in disposables he always ends up with a rash. So I am so happy to have him back in his cloth diapers and even happier that they are fresh, clean, and no ammonia smell!
Friday, August 20, 2010
Thursday, August 19, 2010
But I am not like "everybody else." I am me and my brain is my brain and like all parts of our body do - my brain is trying to heal itself. It might not be doing it in a way that pleases everyone, but it is doing it the only way my body knows how. And I am happy that I feel like I am moving in the right direction. Towards healing.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
I know that having an incredibly supportive husband that also happens to be a pretty great dad makes this possible. I love that I can travel for days at a time (and in the very near future I will be gone for 10 - 12 days!) and not worry about Fisher. And I also think that Fisher's mellow attitude helps out a lot as well.
So there it is - it is now on the internets so it must be true - It is possible to be a mom and love your job. Anyone else feel that way?
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Fisher is almost 11 months old and both mine and Shawn's schedules are about to get very insane with work and school so I am hoping the third time is a charm with getting Fisher in daycare! I have called around and there is one that I definitely feel more comfortable with. They are suppossed to let me know next week if they are going to have an opening for him in the near future. I guess if they don't I will have to get him in one of the other ones. But my intituion is telling me that this one in particular is the one to go with - so I am crossing my fingers.
For the record - I am not dreading Fisher going to daycare. I am actually excited about it. I think he is going to love it!! He loves playing with other children and he just doesn't get to do that very often. And thinking about the amount of stuff I can get done in 8-9 hours without Fisher is pretty exciting too.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Anyway - Fisher is very tall and lanky and we have been thinking he would be on the later side of walking in order to get his balance under control, so I really wasn't expecting him to take his first few steps at 10.5 months. He still has a long way to go and a lot of balance to figure out but it is a start.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
In honor of World Breastfeeding Week I am going to share the letter I wrote to the two lactation consultants at the hospital Fisher was beat up, oops born at. First, I guess I should explain - my son had the crap beat out of him when he was born and was in the NICU and had lots of facial trauma and swelling. I really wanted to breastfeed and being a first time mom I was pretty naive about it I think. I told the lactation consultants that I wanted to breastfeed and they helped me. They had to really work with both me and Fisher to make it happen because of his injuries. I later found out that the lactation consultants didn't really expect me to be successful because of his injuries (they and the doctors thought he wouldn't be able to eat at all and would have to have a feeding tube) but they didn't tell me this and offered only support and encouragement. And it worked! Here is a picture of Fisher (and his Memaw) the day after he was born. Poor little beat up baby!!
And here is the letter I wrote to the lactation consultants when Fisher was 7 months old (BTW - we now think Fisher will need more surgeries in the future - but didn't when this letter was written)
Hello! I have been meaning to write you two for a long time to express my appreciation for your help with my son, Fisher. Fisher was born Sept 14th and was the brow presentation baby that had lots of nasal scarring and swelling. While Fisher’s birth experience was far from what I had hoped – you two helped me more than you can know by helping him breastfeed and being so supportive. You and the NICU staff were great to offer support, assistance, and the opportunity to breastfeed in the NICU despite Fisher’s birth injuries. I am happy to report that Fisher is still successfully breastfeeding 7 months later! Since leaving the hospital in September, Fisher has had four nasal surgeries because of nasal stenosis. After each surgery the nurses in his recovery room would warn me that he probably wouldn’t want to nurse and I should try a bottle. However, each time Fisher wanted nothing to do with the bottle but was very comforted by nursing. I actually think that he was able to nurse so easily after each surgery because I learned how to nurse him early on while dealing with his injuries.
As I said, while Fisher’s birth wasn’t ideal – I am so thankful and happy that I was able to breastfeed. I have told Fisher’s birth story numerous times to friends, family, and strangers and each time I am reminded about how thankful I am for the help you both provided. I have sung your praises to many people and have sadly learned that most hospitals do not offer as much breastfeeding support as I was lucky to receive. So thank you for what you do - I know breastfeeding would not have been possible without the two of you and I am truly grateful. I am also happy to report that Fisher is 7 months old and we are hopeful that he will have to have no further surgeries on his nose. He is a very happy, healthy, and definitely a growing little boy!