I had a fantastic realization today. I am ok. I am more than ok. I am happy, I am strong, I am FIERCE, I am powerful, I am loved, I am love, I am enough. I am so much more than I ever thought possible seven years ago when I gave birth to my son and he was injured. I was broken because I thought I broke him. I had a hard, hard start to my life as a parent. But now, seven years later from his "labor day" (he was born the next day but I labored all day Sept 13, 2009) I can look back and see that day changed the trajectory of my life. And on this day seven years out I can see that trajectory change is powerful and absolutely meant to be. I could write a book on how my life changed from that one day in so many ways but what I am excited about is that today on his labor day anniversary I can see the good, the positive, the AMAZING things we have instead of being sad and angry. Time passing helps I am sure but I am not willing to give time the credit on this one. I am proud of the work I have put in to heal inside and out. It would have been much easier to wallow in anger, in frustration, and sadness but I don't want that for my life or for my family's life. Of course I have moments of anger, frustration, and sadness. I have "freak outs" at times when I am triggered by something that throws my into a tailspin of emotions and I probably always will. But I have learned to get through those moments, to feel those feelings, to acknowledge them, to lean on my supportive friends and family in the hard moments, and those moments pass. I refuse to let the hard times win. The bad moments are there - absolutely yes - but so are the good moments. The laughter, the holy-crap-I-can't-believe-this moments, the gains, the hugs, the "I love yous", they are all there and I am so thankful. So today instead of being sad on this anniversary of his labor day - I am happy. I am happy of where he is. He has worked so hard and I am so proud of him. I feel blessed to have so many people in my life that were the right people at the right time to support me. I am ok and I do love this person I've become and I know how hard I fought to become her. And I am happy.