I went to a counselor today for the first time. I have had a hard time dealing with all the things surrounding Fisher's birth from his injuries to mine. I wanted to be able to talk it out with someone and hopefully they will be able to help me deal with things and move on. I think that is my goal. Right now it is hard to move on because I see Fisher's scars every day and I know that he will have more surgeries in the future and I pay his medical bills and I go to physical therapy for my back. So I met with a counselor and most of the hour was spent just telling the story. She said she understood why I would be so upset because I had lost all control (which if you know me, you know how hard this is for me lol) and I had a lot of things happen to my body that were never explained and weren't documented correctly in my medical records. She said she that it was my body and I deserved to understand what happened and why. I of course agree.
And I got an official diagnoses of adjustment disorder with anxiety. From my little research I have done it appears that adjustment disorder is a pretty common diagnosis, it seems like a catch all to me. I don't particularly care what is "wrong" with me. I just want to know how to deal with everything in a healthy way.