I went to a counselor today for the first time. I have had a hard time dealing with all the things surrounding Fisher's birth from his injuries to mine. I wanted to be able to talk it out with someone and hopefully they will be able to help me deal with things and move on. I think that is my goal. Right now it is hard to move on because I see Fisher's scars every day and I know that he will have more surgeries in the future and I pay his medical bills and I go to physical therapy for my back. So I met with a counselor and most of the hour was spent just telling the story. She said she understood why I would be so upset because I had lost all control (which if you know me, you know how hard this is for me lol) and I had a lot of things happen to my body that were never explained and weren't documented correctly in my medical records. She said she that it was my body and I deserved to understand what happened and why. I of course agree.
And I got an official diagnoses of adjustment disorder with anxiety. From my little research I have done it appears that adjustment disorder is a pretty common diagnosis, it seems like a catch all to me. I don't particularly care what is "wrong" with me. I just want to know how to deal with everything in a healthy way.
That's a hard first step to take, but it will make all the difference in the world! I can only imagine how frustrated and angry all of this makes you. It will be nice to have an impartial third party who can't turn on the TV to drown you out. Or maybe that's just my husband... ;)
ReplyDeleteYep - my husband is the same way!! I wish I could deal with things like he does sometimes (i.e. ignore it and not think about it) but I am incapable!
ReplyDeleteI am really glad I decided to get counseling. I figure it never hearts to have a third party let you talk things out :)