Last year as I heard people chatting about their New Years Resolutions for 2014 I had a unspoken dialogue running through my head. "All I want in 2014 is for Willow to be here and be healthy". I am not anti resolutions. I actually like how as a new year approaches we often take time to reflect on successes and failures and make a game plan on how we can make changes to improve our lives for the coming year. But last year I was in my third trimester of what I was sure was my last pregnancy and all I could think of how amazing the year would be if we had a healthy baby. All of the typical New Years plans and resolutions paled in comparison to my biggest goal of 2014.
So thanks 2014! Thanks for being the year where I met my sweet Willow earthside. On my terms. In a healthy way for both of us and in a healing way for me. When I hear 2014, I will always flash to THE moment. The "I did it" moment when I grabbed that pink, sweet, healthy baby and wouldn't let anyone take her from me (not that anyone tried to take her from me). The last 9.5 months of 2014 we have had such a great time getting to know this little girl that stole our hearts long before we met her. Now the running dialogue in my head when she laughs, when her and big brother are playing, when she gives that special smile to her daddy is "joy, I am so thankful."
Of course 2014 wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. It was also the year we identified (and are still identifying) challenges Fisher faces. That is completely overwhelming to me and in so many ways I have been trudging from appointment to appointment lost as to what to do next. Questioning which way to turn, where to focus. It was a year of frustration and confusion intermixed with pride and achievements.
Though it seems to a backburner to the family life - we also bought a new house and moved in 2014. I am very thankful for the new house and love having the roots planted for our family again.
All that being said - since I am not gestating a baby on this New Years Eve I have actually pondered some on what I hope to do better in 2015. My goal for 2015 is to live intentionally. I am going to work on being present in the moment and not get so tied up in the day to day craziness. I want to make more time to connect with Shawn, put away technology more often and simply breathe, laugh, and be with my family and friends.
Goodbye 2014 - I am thankful for the great times and memories from this year, it has definitely been a memorable one. I hope we can learn from the hard and difficult times. I can't wait to see what 2015 holds for us!