First steps

Fisher took his first unassisted steps yesterday. I was incredibly impressed; he didn't even realize he did it. He was standing with his cousin Emerson (who is 4) and she walked away and he followed for a second. He did it again later that night when we were at home. Shawn was looking out the window - which is one of Fisher's favorite pastimes. I guess he wanted to join Daddy at the window and he took off towards it. I was so excited I screamed at Shawn "LOOK!!" and Fisher stopped in his tracks and fell. Oops, my bad.
Anyway - Fisher is very tall and lanky and we have been thinking he would be on the later side of walking in order to get his balance under control, so I really wasn't expecting him to take his first few steps at 10.5 months. He still has a long way to go and a lot of balance to figure out but it is a start.

Work, smerk

So far I have been posting a lot about Fisher and baby stuff, because honestly when I sit down in front of the computer that is usually what is on my mind. However, work has been crazy lately as it is getting to the busy part of my year. The time when we do a bait drop (drop vaccines from planes to vaccinate wildlife for rabies) and then follow up with several weeks of trapping to see how effective our bait drop was. This year the person that normally is in charge of the TN side of things took a different job so I am stepping in and covering both TN and KY currently. So add the normal craziness of this time of year to me covering two states at once and WOW. I am running around like a mad woman (ha ha - rabies joke). I wake up in the morning and get right to work (one of the benefits of working from a home office is not wasting time getting ready for work and driving to work!) and the last few days I have been working until about 5 pm and then stopping for a few hours to play with Fisher and then after he goes to bed I work more. I hate the feeling of being behind and overwhelmed and I feel both right now. In the past I probably wouldn't have felt that way, but having a 10 month old added to the work mix is a whole new dimension. While working from home is great in a lot of ways, it is also hard because it is hard to having a definitive stopping point to the day since I never leave my office. Regardless, I am happy to have be a mom and a wildlife biologist! There are far too few women that do both :)

Happy World Breastfeeding Week!

In honor of World Breastfeeding Week I am going to share the letter I wrote to the two lactation consultants at the hospital Fisher was beat up, oops born at. First, I guess I should explain - my son had the crap beat out of him when he was born and was in the NICU and had lots of facial trauma and swelling. I really wanted to breastfeed and being a first time mom I was pretty naive about it I think. I told the lactation consultants that I wanted to breastfeed and they helped me. They had to really work with both me and Fisher to make it happen because of his injuries. I later found out that the lactation consultants didn't really expect me to be successful because of his injuries (they and the doctors thought he wouldn't be able to eat at all and would have to have a feeding tube) but they didn't tell me this and offered only support and encouragement. And it worked! Here is a picture of Fisher (and his Memaw) the day after he was born. Poor little beat up baby!!

And here is the letter I wrote to the lactation consultants when Fisher was 7 months old (BTW - we now think Fisher will need more surgeries in the future - but didn't when this letter was written)

Hello! I have been meaning to write you two for a long time to express my appreciation for your help with my son, Fisher. Fisher was born Sept 14^th and was the brow presentation baby that had lots of nasal scarring and swelling. While Fisher’s birth experience was far from what I had hoped – you two helped me more than you can know by helping him breastfeed and being so supportive. You and the NICU staff were great to offer support, assistance, and the opportunity to breastfeed in the NICU despite Fisher’s birth injuries. I am happy to report that Fisher is still successfully breastfeeding 7 months later! Since leaving the hospital in September, Fisher has had four nasal surgeries because of nasal stenosis. After each surgery the nurses in his recovery room would warn me that he probably wouldn’t want to nurse and I should try a bottle. However, each time Fisher wanted nothing to do with the bottle but was very comforted by nursing. I actually think that he was able to nurse so easily after each surgery because I learned how to nurse him early on while dealing with his injuries.

As I said, while Fisher’s birth wasn’t ideal – I am so thankful and happy that I was able to breastfeed. I have told Fisher’s birth story numerous times to friends, family, and strangers and each time I am reminded about how thankful I am for the help you both provided. I have sung your praises to many people and have sadly learned that most hospitals do not offer as much breastfeeding support as I was lucky to receive. So thank you for what you do - I know breastfeeding would not have been possible without the two of you and I am truly grateful. I am also happy to report that Fisher is 7 months old and we are hopeful that he will have to have no further surgeries on his nose. He is a very happy, healthy, and definitely a growing little boy!

What a crappy way to start a day

The last two mornings I have woke up dealing with crap. Literally. And yes it warrants a blog post. So yesterday morning Fisher wakes up and I go get him from his room and bring him downstairs. I usually lay him between Shawn and myself for a few minutes and cuddle him and talk to him as we both wake up. Yesterday after I put him between us he unsnapped his diaper and I checked it real quick to make sure there was no poop in there and then decided to let him play for a few minutes commando while we were waking up. I am not sure if the nugget of goodness was already in the diaper and I didn't notice it or if he produced it at will after the diaper was off. But regardless - a minute or two later I noticed a brown spot on my sheets. My lovely Egyptian Cotton sheets. And then I noticed it was more than just a spot. There was a good 3 foot swath of crap on my sheets...and my handmade quilt.....and my own pajamas. So I informed Shawn that we had a 5 Alarm situation (our term for when the poop requires a double parenting team for clean up and disposal) and he took Fisher and cleaned him up and I took over the laundry cleaning detail. Crisis solved.
Now this morning I get Fisher bring him downstairs again. I put him on the floor as I make up my bed (with my fresh poop free sheets). Fisher is playing happily in the floor. He comes over to the bed and pulls up and holds out a treasure for me to see very proudly (kind of like when a cat brings a mouse to your doorstep). I realize this brown treasure is truly a treasure because he had to dig for it....it is a cat turd!!! Fisher has never shown any interest in the cat's litter boxes until this morning. I freaked out and grabbed the cat turd with my bare hands to get it away from him and then inspected his mouth to make sure there was no evidence of coprophagy (which is a scientific term for crap eating). Luckily, Fisher didn't appear to eat a poop breakfast.
I wonder what will happen tomorrow morning?

I have been diagnosed....

I went to a counselor today for the first time. I have had a hard time dealing with all the things surrounding Fisher's birth from his injuries to mine. I wanted to be able to talk it out with someone and hopefully they will be able to help me deal with things and move on. I think that is my goal. Right now it is hard to move on because I see Fisher's scars every day and I know that he will have more surgeries in the future and I pay his medical bills and I go to physical therapy for my back. So I met with a counselor and most of the hour was spent just telling the story. She said she understood why I would be so upset because I had lost all control (which if you know me, you know how hard this is for me lol) and I had a lot of things happen to my body that were never explained and weren't documented correctly in my medical records. She said she that it was my body and I deserved to understand what happened and why. I of course agree.
And I got an official diagnoses of adjustment disorder with anxiety. From my little research I have done it appears that adjustment disorder is a pretty common diagnosis, it seems like a catch all to me. I don't particularly care what is "wrong" with me. I just want to know how to deal with everything in a healthy way.

Nana

My Nana is dieing. It is hard for me to believe, even though she has been in and out of the hospital since April. I just can not wrap my head around a world without Nana in it. I have only good memories of my Nana and it is really impossible for me to come to terms that there will be no new good memories, though I know I will always cherish the thousands I have.
However, she is dieing. The doctors and her daughters think it is time to "make her comfortable" and leave the rest to God.
It is impossible to try to explain how important Nana is to me and my family. There really are no words but know that if you ever met Nana, she would be your Nana too.

Vacation recap - Money well wasted and things I learned

We just got back from our first family vacation. One thing that Shawn and I decided before we had Fisher is that we will make it a priority every year to take a family vacation. Even if we are short on money we decided that we will go camping or something to mark each summer with an official "Family Vacation." My family didn't go on a vacation every year while we were growing up - but those times that we did pile into the Family Truckster and hit the road were so much fun and memorable. I look forward to the memories we will make over the years with our children.

Our first vacation as a family of three was to Myrtle Beach, SC. I had to give a presentation at a conference for work so we decided to turn it into a work/fun trip. It was great to see the beach through Fisher's eyes. He loved playing in the sand. He would dig holes in the sand and then be amazed when a wave would wash up and the water would linger in his hole like a little pond. He tasted the sand, and the shells, and the salt water. I took him out in the deeper water and we would jump the waves. He loved that and laughed every time I jumped. Fisher really enjoyed the huge beach and the freedom to crawl anywhere he wanted. He also loved catching the eye of the beach walkers and giving them a coy smile. We spent some time in the pool at our resort (which was awesome!). There were lots of kids swimming in the pool and Fisher kept trying to get away from me and swim with the kids. The only problem is - Fisher can't exactly swim just yet.

As any good family vacation - we got caught in a tourist trap. Shawn and I were really excited to eat at a seafood buffet for the first time. However, we ended up paying $60 for the two of us to eat at the Giant Crab which ended up being sub par, fried seafood. I have had better seafood at Shoneys and would have paid a lot less. To add to the tourist trappiness - they took a "souvenir photo" at the Giant Crab, which they would of course sell you for $10. This was our first souvenir picture taken at a family vacation and we just blew $60 on crappy food, so we decided to buy the photo. We have already gotten $10 worth of laughing from it. Oh - and of course, after leaving the Giant Crab - Shawn threw up his $30 worth of crap food and then we ended up getting him something at Hardees later that night.

That souvenir photo to remind us of the gross overpriced food at the Giant Crab might have sparked a family tradition....we bought every souvenir picture we had taken after that, because they really are just funny. We bought the picture at the Aquarium and then at Medieval Nights. So we ended up spending about $40 on souvenir pics. Which is quite ridiculous....but at the same time it is HARD to get a picture of the three of us together, so it is worth it. Plus, again the laugh factor has been worth the money.

Our first cheasy souvenir picture - At the Giant Crab.



The Second Souvenir Picture - at the Aquarium.


What I learned from our first family vacation
1) A large bathroom can double as a bedroom if the pack-n-play will fit in it.
2) Valet parking is amazing with a baby. I always thought valet was for lazy people.
3) The perks of a resort are worth the money. (valet, private beach, beach cabana, towels, chairs, umbrellas set up for you, etc)
4)It isn't a vacation unless you hit up at least one tourist trap
5)Take advantage of all the things that are free for kids under 2, while your kids are under 2.
6) If you wear out the kids under 2, they will sleep late!!
7) When you have a kid - you come back from vacation as tired as you left...but it is worth it.