What a long, strange trip it's been.

In two weeks I will be a Tennessean again. It is finally starting to set in and I am getting excited. I know this isn't a big deal to most people, because they live and work where they want - but in my profession you rarely get that opportunity.
I went to undergrad at the University of Tennessee and majored in Wildlife and Fisheries Science. The professors were awesome but very honest in telling us that in order to "make it" in the wildlife world we need to be prepared to move for jobs. Wildlife jobs are not that numerous and very competitive. So your best bet is to have your bags packed, apply for every job you see, and jump at opportunities. Sounds fun and exciting when you are a 20 year old college kid - but fast forward to real life with bills, family ties, possibly a spouse,house, and children - and this is HARD. Unfortunately, the majority of people that start out in wildlife don't end up with jobs in the field, life gets in the way. And those that do end up sticking it out with a wildlife profession are often living in places far from home. Which is why I am in shock and grateful for the long, strip trip my life has taken me on.
I went from UT to Arkansas for graduate school. In graduate school I met Shawn who is now my husband. It takes a very special man to be married to a wildlife biologist who asks him to move every couple of years and I am super thankful for him. I landed my first wildlife job in Southern Florida - south of Miami. This was my first "foot in the door" job and I am very glad I did it - though it was hard to be away from Shawn who was in Arkansas in college. After we got married (yes we got married when I was living in Florida and he in Arkansas!!) I looked for a job closer to him while he finished up college. I got a job in Oklahoma, which was 2 hours from where Shawn was in college. So I moved to Arkansas for the weekends and was in Oklahoma during the weeks for work. We had such an awesome time and were so thankful we were able to spend every weekend together. As Shawn was finishing up college I started looking for a new job. I had a great time at my Oklahoma job but I wanted to find something where I would have more opportunities professionally. I applied for a ton of jobs all over the Eastern United States and I ended up getting the one that I have now, which is with a federal agency dealing with wildlife disease. I was stationed in Kentucky and was super excited about that, because my sisters are only two hours away and my parents are five hours away. After being 16 -20 hours away, this seemed too good to be true!
So I have been in Kentucky for the past three years and I have loved it. I love my job, love my house, love the family that Shawn and I have started. But then things fell in place to move to Knoxville for my joba. Knoxville has always felt like home to me. It is where I spent the first 10 years of my life, where I went to college, where my grandparents live, where we spend every Thanksgiving with family.
So I was cautiously optimistic about moving to Knoxville. Yeah, it would be great and all - but we had this little thing called a HOUSE to sell in Kentucky first. I was so worried about selling our house in the down economy in a down region. But things lined up better than I could have imagined. Our house was bought by the first people to look at it, with cash.
So now we are two weeks away from moving to Knoxville. And it is starting to hit me. I will soon be back in the area that I want to live in. An area with family, friends, mountains, and ample outdoor activities. I can't help but be thankful and a little in awe of how things have worked out. I honestly never would have imagined it and feel like God is directing our paths in that direction.

Our next adventure - Knoxville here we come

It is almost official, things are starting to fall into place...
We are moving! We currently live in Eastern KY and are going to be moving to Knoxville, TN for my job. I am currently the Kentucky Rabies Wildlife Biologist but for the past few months I have been serving as both the Kentucky and Tennessee Rabies Wildlife Biologist because the TN biologist took a new job. It has been decided that covering both TN and KY is going to be a permament job duty for me and logistically it makes more sense for me to work out of Knoxville, TN than where I live now. I have been driving down to Knoxville (5 hour drive) at least every other week and will be spending the majority of Nov and Dec down there. If we live in TN I will have less travel and will be home a lot more.
There are many positives to the move - I love Knoxville, I went to undergrad there, we have friends and family that live there. I look forward to spending time in the Smokies, hiking, fishing, camping, aaahhhhh. Right now we are having to drive 2 hours to Fisher's nose specialists, so hopefully when we move to Knoxville that will be much easier. And there is this whole issue that we want more children but we sure as heck aren't going to have another child where we had Fisher. I was planning on driving 2 hours to Lexington the next time we get pregnant, which I wasn't looking forward to.
I have to admit though, the idea of moving is bittersweet. There is this tiny thing that we own and must sell....our house. That is super scary to me. The cost of living is higher in Knoxville and I am worried about having to find Fisher a new daycare. His daycare he is at now is such a great fit! I also really love working in Kentucky. I love my coworkers here and my supervisor, I wish I didn't have to change that side of things.
And the hardest thing is that my Nana lived in Knoxville and she passed away just 2 months ago. The first thing I thought of when it became "official" that we were moving was "I can't wait to tell Nana!" because Nana would have been more than thrilled. When the idea of moving to Knoxville started getting tossed around Nana was in the hospital and we were thinking that she would be going to a nursing home. I was excited about the possibility of visiting her at the nursing home once a week for dinner. I could imagine Fisher looking forward to our weekly visits as much as she did. I think that this move becoming official has resulted in me greiving for Nana. I really miss her and I am sad for all the future memories I won't have with her.
But I am hoping and praying that a year from now things will be settled down. We will have sold our house in Ashland, bought a new house in Tennessee, Shawn will be teaching, and Fisher will be adjusted to his new day care. Knoxville has always felt like home to me and I am excited about living there with Shawn and Fisher. There is so much to do, so many people to meet, so many trails to hike. I never thought I would have a wildlife job in a state I wanted to live in (TN or KY) much less an awesome town. So bring on the adventure, let's see what Knoxville holds for our family!

Home!

I am home from my work trip! I ended up being gone only 10 days as things went ahead of schedule. Overall things went great and were much easier than I expected on all fronts. On the home front - Shawn did AWESOME and did not even call me or complain one time that he was tired, needed a break, etc. I am sure he couldn't say the same thing about me if the roles were reversed for 10 days. Fisher did great too. Shawn said they really had a great time and I think it was good for all three of us.
On the work front - things went awesome too! This was a unique situation - I am the Kentucky Rabies Wildlife Biologist and the Tennessee Rabies Biologist recently took another job so I have stepped in and been heading up the TN rabies duties for the last few months. The vaccine bait distribution that I was gone for was in TN, so I was stepping in and heading up something with people that aren't used to working with me. However the guys down there were awesome and treated me great and things went very smooth. We got all the rabies vaccines out (we were driving around distributing rabies vaccines coated in a fishmeal block that is attractive to raccoons) in all of the TN cities that are too populated to fly and drop vaccines on. More info found if you are interested.
http://www.aphis.usda.gov/ws/rabies/vaccine.html

So I am home and I swear Fisher grew! And he walks backwards as well as forward now. That is something he figured out in the past 10 days. He was definitely excited to see me and has been my shadow since I got home. He is also officially weaned. Which wasn't too bad on either of us I don't think. He was down to nursing once a day, so I didn't get engorged while I was gone (thank goodness) and he seemed to do fine in the transition as well.

So we all three made it. And I think it was good for all of us. I think it was good for Fisher and Shawn to be on there own for a while - there relationship is continually developing and changing. I also think it was good for me - everytime I remind myself that I really can do this - travel, work, and be a mom - I feel so blessed and happy with my life.

This one is for the dads!

4 days into my 12 day work trip.....

So far so good. The days are so busy - we are up at 6ish eating breakfast and then out working by 8. After a long day we usually don't get back to the motel until 6 or so and then it is time to shower, eat dinner, and then go to bed. Even with the busy schedule I am still constantly thinking at 7:00 - I bet Fisher is waking up now. 11:00 - Fisher is eating lunch, and so on. He and Shawn are never far from my mind.
I am so thankful that I have such a great husband who coincidentally is an amazing daddy. I am so thankful that I can be gone for 12 days and not worry about Fisher. I hate when people gasp and say "I couldn't leave my child for that long" because it isn't like I am leaving my son with a teenager or a felon. My son is with his dad and I really don't think he is any less of a parent than I am. Sure, I made sure all the laundry was done before I left (laundry is really the only household chore that is "mine"), I went grocery shopping before I left (another duty that I usually do), and I tried to leave Fisher and Shawn in a way that would make this next two weeks as easy on both of them as possible. And I have to admit, I was a little worried when I left because SURELY my son would miss me and be inconsolable at times, right? I am his MAMA! And BTW - call it cruel or what - but he is simultaneously getting weaned from breastfeeding during the trip (though he was down to nursing one time a day, on his own). But no, when I talk to Shawn on the phone Fisher and him are outside playing, or he is feeding Fisher, or they are watching HBO family together, or he is telling me how long Fisher slept for a nap I realize that Fisher is just fine without me. He is happy and healthy and doing his normal things....with his daddy.
Shawn is a proud daddy. One of his facebook friends posted something about not liking babies and called them aliens and parasites and Shawn took it personally. Which I thought was awesome, because in all honesty, I would take it personally too (Aw hell no, I know you just didn't call me son an alien!! lol). Shawn told the girl that he thought it was wrong of her to make such a blanket statement and that she wouldn't say something like that about a particular ethnicity, gender, or nationality so he didn't understand why she could declare hatred for an entire segment of our population.
So the moral of the story is - I am impressed by the dad that Shawn is and is becoming. Over the past year he has impressed me over and over as I have seen him in a different light than ever before. He went from being my best friend, husband, comedian, antagonist, cheerleader,and partner in crime to being all that plus Fisher's dad. This new role is pretty awesome because I already loved my best friend, husband, antagonist, cheerleader, partner in crime - but by adding Fisher's daddy to the mix I get a whole new reason to fall in love all over again. So thank you Shawn.

Daycare rocks!

When I was pregnant we planned on putting Fisher into daycare when he was about three months old. However, because of his birth injuries his doctors instructed us that is was very important we keep Fisher healthy and day care was not an option. Not to mention he wouldn't have been able to go to daycare while he has nasal stents in his nose (that really sucked BTW). So Shawn and I have been juggling Fisher for the past year and it has been wonderful in many ways, but stressful at the same time. We were finally able to start daycare this week and he loves it! I am so happy and relieved. Even the teachers can't believe how easy his transition has been. He hasn't cried when I left yet and when I come to pick him up his is playing happily and then sees me... And for those of you that send your kids to daycare you know how awesome it is when they run up to you smiling and give you a hug. Makes my heart melt!
Since I am sleep obsessed (I admit it) I was very worried about him being able to nap at daycare. You see Fisher is somewhat of a sleep diva. He sleeps in his room, in a crib, with a fan running, usually a humidifier, in a house with plaster soundproof walls. I am sure this contributed to him being a very light sleeper and only wanting to sleep in his crib. He is not one of those kids that will fall asleep in the stroller, or on your lap, or anywhere other than his crib. So yes, he is a sleep diva (I know I created that, but hey - it works for us!). I was concerned about how my sleep diva would do taking a nap in a room, with other kids and distractions, and on the FLOOR! With no crib to contain him.
Day one - I got a report that he sleep 25 minutes. On the mat, on the floor. I am stunned.
Day two - He sleep 35 minutes. Again, I am stunned.
Day three - he sleep one hour and fifteen minutes! Woo hoo! I am impressed and happy and relieved.
And the best thing so far about daycare? He comes home SO happy! He is happy to see us, see his cats, eat dinner, play with his toys. I know he is tired but he isn't fussy at all. Shawn and I have enjoyed our afternoons and evenings with him and then he goes to bed with no problems.
And me, well I have been able to go to the gym and workout THREE DAYS IN A ROW! That is huge. And I feel a lot less stressed about work. While Shawn and I were juggling I would often have to work after Fisher went to bed to make up for time I couldn't work during the day. So I felt like I was always working and never got a break. Now, I am completely finished working by the time I pick up Fisher from daycare and the rest of the evening is mine to do what I want with it.
So I am going on the record saying daycare is not that bad. In fact, I have to say that for Fisher it is great. He seems to be having a great time, comes home a happy boy, and his mama is so much less rushed and stressed all the time. Other than the cost, I think it is a win win situation!

Driving....

I drove 9 hours round trip today to pick up one raccoon. Not very efficient but it needed to be picked up (to be tested for rabies). I drive a lot for my job as I work in both Kentucky and Tennessee and log many miles in those two states. I have found that driving through the mountains in Eastern Kentucky especially is very cathartic to me. Most often I am driving on curvy two lane mountain roads where I have to actually pay attention to the roads and not zone out completely like I do on interstates. I have noticed that this time I spend driving really centers me. Lots of times I listen to NPR. I am such a dork I always try to have NPR podcasts on my Ipod to listen to when I drive. I have been doing my current job for three years now and I have come to really look forward to my drives. When I am not in the mood for NPR I will play some tunes from my ipod and sing along. All of this driving time is time for my brain to not think about a million things at once, I can't check my email, or make phone calls (no cell service in most areas where I go). I really need this time to decompress and just let my brain rest for a bit. I have noticed that when I am not trying to do many things at once and just drive and listen to music I can often calmly and rationally think out situations and problems. If I feel stressed or angry about something, calming down and thinking things through is usually just as simple as getting in my truck and hitting the road for a few hours.
Today I planned the next month and a half in my head. I planned a trip to Knoxville next week for work - figured out how Shawn and I would juggle Fisher and then went through everything I need to do in Knoxville for work and to visit my grandmother. Then I planned out all the cleaning I have to do this weekend to get ready for Fisher's first birthday and then planned and set up his party. I went through several more things coming up and came home from the drive in a good mood, feeling somewhat refreshed. And then I walked into my house with dirty diapers waiting to be washed, emails needing to be read and responded to, dinner ready to be cooked, Fisher wanting some Mama time (which I love!), and Shawn needing to run some errands. So relaxation is over until the next Eastern Kentucky drive.

Blessed to be a Working Mom

Yes, I said it. I am officially 11 months into this motherhood thing and though I love it more than I even imagined I still *gasp* love my job. Last year while I was pregnant I spent way too many hours reading forums, baby boards, working mother websites, etc and the general consensus seemed to be working is horrible when you are a mom. I don't know how many times I have read "I am blessed to be a stay at home mom." And I wondered - after I had Fisher would I suddenly do a 180 and not want to work the job that both Shawn and I have sacrificed for? We have moved several times so I could be a wildlife biologist, got married though we were living in two different states, and lived apart for three years. I can honestly say that I was a little concerned about having a baby and then not wanting to work anymore, because financially that is not an option. So I am almost a year into this thing and I can honestly say that I am blessed to be a working mom! I love my job as much as I ever have and I love my son more than I ever realized I could. I know now that there is room in my heart for both. And in my life. I am truly blessed to work for a great agency that was very supportive during my pregnancy and all the complications that followed labor and delivery. Looking back at that time I can not imagine having to deal with all we were dealing with and have to be worried about my job on top of everything.
I know that having an incredibly supportive husband that also happens to be a pretty great dad makes this possible. I love that I can travel for days at a time (and in the very near future I will be gone for 10 - 12 days!) and not worry about Fisher. And I also think that Fisher's mellow attitude helps out a lot as well.
So there it is - it is now on the internets so it must be true - It is possible to be a mom and love your job. Anyone else feel that way?

Work, smerk

So far I have been posting a lot about Fisher and baby stuff, because honestly when I sit down in front of the computer that is usually what is on my mind. However, work has been crazy lately as it is getting to the busy part of my year. The time when we do a bait drop (drop vaccines from planes to vaccinate wildlife for rabies) and then follow up with several weeks of trapping to see how effective our bait drop was. This year the person that normally is in charge of the TN side of things took a different job so I am stepping in and covering both TN and KY currently. So add the normal craziness of this time of year to me covering two states at once and WOW. I am running around like a mad woman (ha ha - rabies joke). I wake up in the morning and get right to work (one of the benefits of working from a home office is not wasting time getting ready for work and driving to work!) and the last few days I have been working until about 5 pm and then stopping for a few hours to play with Fisher and then after he goes to bed I work more. I hate the feeling of being behind and overwhelmed and I feel both right now. In the past I probably wouldn't have felt that way, but having a 10 month old added to the work mix is a whole new dimension. While working from home is great in a lot of ways, it is also hard because it is hard to having a definitive stopping point to the day since I never leave my office. Regardless, I am happy to have be a mom and a wildlife biologist! There are far too few women that do both :)

Corralling the geese

Confucius said "Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life." I agree with him in a lot of ways - I really do love my job and some days it doesn't feel much like work at all! However, some days it does - especially now that I am a full time mom and wildlife biologist - wow juggling work with mommihood really does feel like work sometimes.
Regardless, the last few days I have been able to get back out in the field for the first time since having Fisher. I went on a couple of goose corrals. What is a good corral? Good question.
There are a couple of weeks during the summer when goose molt (lose their feathers and grow new ones). During this time they can't fly. So we go in during these two weeks and remove geese from golf courses, parks, schools, and other places where they are being a nuisance. How are they being a nuisance? Geese poop more than you can imagine!! Each goose can poop up to 3 lbs a day!! So if you have 100 geese on your little park, that is 300 lbs of poop a day that they are leaving behind for people to step in, kids to eat, and all of that fun stuff. Anyway, during the time they can't fly we are able to very gently guide them into a corral type cage because they can't fly away from us. Then we can relocate them to a wetland area far away where they can do their goose duty of pooping 3 lbs a day without causing damage. It is pretty cool to see it done - because it is so quiet and actually kind of peaceful. There are four of five people quietly herding the geese into the pen. We try to be calm to keep the geese calm because if they get upset then they will split up. So anyway - I have been out on a couple of these the last two days. It has been so great to get back outside and work with animals again!
I guess the only difference is - I had to pump on the way to each corral. ha ha ha. We have to meet up at 6 am and I am not getting up any earlier than I already have to. I have gotten pretty good at pumping and driving. I am sure lots of working, traveling moms have mastered that technique as well!!