So much to say....

I haven't posted in a long time!  I have had a pretty crazy 2012 thus far and there have been many times when I wanted to write about it, but for one reason or another I haven't. 

The big news - I am pregnant again :)  And SO excited to be into my 2nd trimester!!!!  The main reason I didn't post anything new since January is that we found out we were pregnant in January and it has been such an emotional roller coaster.  Things are so very different this pregnancy than with my first two pregnancies.  Instead of being super excited and bursting to tell everyone - I was scared and wanted to keep it just between Shawn and I for a long, long time.  I did tell a few friends very early and each time instead of being excited it scared me and felt like I had exposed a raw nerve.  Of course my friends are awesome and supportive and loving and just perfect at saying the right things.  It wasn't them, it was me.  We even held off on telling my family for quite a while.  It was just a bridge that was hard to cross this time.  To add to it, the first trimester was anything but easy.  I was sick, sicker than I had been with my first pregnancies.  My amazing team of practioners have been watching things closely and found that my progesterone dropped lower than it should.  So to err on the side of caution I was put on progesterone suppliments "just in case."  I breathed a HUGE sigh of relief when I got past 11 weeks, which was the point where I lost the baby last time.  And again - I am so thankful to have an awesome group of midwives and nurses who took the time to reassure me that everything was ok at that point. 

I have survived a couple of big milestones - first I told my work I was pregnant about 2 weeks ago.  I was so nervous about that but it actually went really well.  I can't express how relieved I am.  Also, I made it past the due date of the last pregnancy.  Ironically, I told work the day before that due date and I think the reaction I got at work made the due date a little easier for me.  So in a weird sort of way, I am feel like that little one was somehow connected to this pregnancy and the big announcement. 

So here we are - I am in my 15th week now, we find out NEXT week if we are having a boy or a girl.  :)  Things are going good - I am off the progesterone, past the sickness phase, and starting to show just a little.  It is actually starting to feel real and each day I find myself just a little more excited and bonding a little bit with this awesome little son or daughter that is devloping inside me.

Lots more I want to write about/document.  We found out Fisher has some teeth problems thanks to his birth trauma, I freaking helped plan and pull off what turned out to be an AWESOME Knoxville Natural Parenting Expo and Great Cloth Diaper Change....but that is all for now :)